I’m feeling kind of goofy today.

I’m currently at work waiting for something to install and instead of working on my final exam for my MBA class, I decided to get something off my chest that I’ve been pondering for quite a while.

Heaven: what will it be like?

This is a question that has been pondered by both Christians and non-Christians alike.  The Bible mentions heaven a number of times.  The most famous, and probably the most familiar, verse, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”  Theologians have argued for centuries what this verse means.  There are also verses about heaven being a great banquet.

But somehow, I don’t think this really captures heaven.  Allow me to provide my version of what I think heaven will be like.

For all you Christians out there, this is meant to be a purely hypothetical exercise.  I have no Biblical bases for any of these ideas.  Let’s say this is kind of what I imagine it will be.  So please don’t leave comments about how much I’m wrong.  Allow me my imagination.

When I die, I imagine that I’ll be in some sort of line to check-in.  After all, there’s only one gate and they just can’t let anyone in there.  I’ll probably asked to submit some sort of proof of identification.  I’m sure that identity theft is pretty rampant there as it is here.  But unlike here, it’s 100% fool-proof.  I don’t think it will be long to check in.  After all, it is heaven.  I’m sure the weather will be quite pleasant.

After checking in and the bell-hop taking me to my new eternal house, he’ll give me a brochure with things to check out and upcoming events.  The one thing he tells me to do before I turn in for the night is to go to the new resident orientation.  “All of the frequently asked questions are answered there.”

I think there are standard questions that Christians want to ask God when they get to heaven.  Questions like “What really happened to the dinosaurs?” or “Can I see how you made the world in 6 days?”  And I’m sure at some point, God got tired of answering the same questions over and over again.  He’s a busy guy.

Anyway, the new resident orientation is held at the biggest IMAX theatre you could imagine.  But not so big your neck hurts but bigger than anything you’ve ever seen on this side of eternity.  A video plays with some famous celebrity that you didn’t know was a Christian comes on saying something like, “Welcome to eternity!  Now, you might think that’s a long time but with everything there is to do, it will feel like it just flew by!”

After the video answers the most common questions, you can ask the community liaison more specific questions, which she answers.  After that, you’re given the eternity card.  This card grants you access to the VIP sections of heaven.  (Not sure what makes it VIP if everyone gets the card.  But, hey, I’m not God.)

Next there are worship sessions and great sermons.  Everyone has the chance to sit down with God and Jesus.  And the rest of eternity is spent checking out all the things that are in heaven to do.

So, that’s kind of what I think will happen.  I know it sounds kind of silly, but hey.  It’s my imagination.  :-)

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One Response to What will heaven be like?

  1. Will says:

    Mike, all great points. One note about dinosaurs, we have some prehistoric looking creatures today, namely lizards and crocodiles, I would insert that the ones that could adapt the best survived. When I think of heaven, I think of a old city that is constantly being updated/renovated. Think of Venice or some other attraction that always has people visiting minus the sinking. And because there is everything you would want, there would be no hatred or envy. Also, if you didn’t master that here, you probably won’t get to exercise it there (read that and lack of faith). As I was reading the other day in my devotions, I noticed, “And man must conquer death, his greatest challenge.” That is the realization that I have done as much as I can with this life for good and am ready to move on. Also in that battle is the realization that there is something “worthy” of my next domicile. Think a better version of Walt Disney, but a city/county/state not built to rob you blind, but make every single moment awesome. Then transition to an amazing landscape seemingly carved around this place with mini-adventures to do from now til forever. Read Ezekiel 1 and then lets talk about travel soon!